I received this strange letter a few days ago.



What the hell could that mean?



Oh, it means exactly what it says. Y'know, if they were paying attention, they'd know that I just bought a new transmission for $1500 goddamn dollars. They'd know, that A) I see my credit card all the time, and that B) I can't afford sushi, because I put everything on credit. And, who gave my credit card permission to be frank?

What kind of insane person is this trying to appeal to? And, if I am, in fact, crazy enough to believe I received a letter from my credit card, demanding special alone time, wouldn't I be more paranoid about how the goddamn thing got my address, and how does it know what I've been up to, since it's been spending all it's time in my wallet?

Actually, it all makes perfect sense, now. I'm lonely because I don't have a massive debt to keep me company. The voices in my head are always telling me to, "Live Richly," and that although material possessions cost money, the experiences I have with them are, "Priceless." I knew the voices wouldn't lie to me.

Yes, credit card, let's go get sushi, and not pay!